


Can you remember what youth used to be like?

by marcelodeguerra



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bottom Reiner Braun, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jock Reiner Braun, M/M, Post-Time Skip, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Stalker Eren Yeager, Top Eren Yeager, Young Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:02:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcelodeguerra/pseuds/marcelodeguerra
Summary: Reiner looked at he sleeping husband with a lot of affection, he couldn't believe that after so many years and so many challenges, they were together in the end, but it was like Eren always said, they are the same.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager
Comments: 10
Kudos: 122





	1. Accident

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a fic in english in a while, but I really wanted write my au, sorry for any typos

"Eren, Eren, you're daydreaming again"

Brought back to reality with his friend's voice, Eren Yeager realized it had probably been a few minutes since he was paralyzed in that bleacher.

"He started to like football"

The nerdy kid just deduced some of his theory while keeping his most complicated thoughts to himself about his best friend's sudden interest in watching those games.

"Do you want to sign up for the varsity?" Mikasa asked after a while rambling.

"Huh, I don't have the body for it, have you noticed how big those guys are?" Eren laughed "but I confess I would love to be like Reiner"

The sparkle in his eyes and the velvety tone of Eren's voice aroused a curiosity in his two friends. They were both looking at him closely, which made him uncomfortable.

"But, Mikasa, you are tall and strong, you would look good on the female's team"

The goth girl took on a pinkish hue on her cheeks at the comment and fell silent.

It wasn't a complete lie that Eren wanted to be like the varsity captain, Reiner Braun was certainly everything a teenager would want to be, he had an enviable physique, a caring personality, had good grades and was quite popular with everyone the type of people. But it was also not the complete truth, the truth was that Eren sighed in the corners when it came to him.

Eren, a so normal boy that he could be invisible to the eyes of veterans like those, felt stupid for falling in love with the one who did not ignore his existence.

In the past few months, Eren had fled the sight of his curious friends to observe the veteran and had already discovered many things.

Reiner was indeed so popular that he received many letters, both from girls and boys, he had a part-time job, his mother married the father of another student, veteran delinquent Annie.

Just like lately, Eren managed to disappear from the sight of his friends and get close to the field when the game was over.

It was no surprise that the varsity won.

The boys on the team were quite excited with the win, shouting, jumping with teammates and cheerleaders, and the star, of course, was surrounded by people, but unlike his teammates, Reiner was more reserved although he still seemed proud.

Somehow he managed to get very close to the players, almost automatically heading towards his interest, however, it was when he ended up being pushed by the crowd and falling face down.

The accident made Eren's head spin, hearing muffled sounds from people who walked away. He saw his own bloody hand, it was a disaster.

"EREN"

He felt dizzy, sick and sleepy. When he threatened to sleep, his attention was called, he was sure that the voice was that of Reiner.

"…Sorry about that, Eren, don't sleep, stay awake, I'll take you to infirmary"

Surely if his head was not buzzing so much, Eren would be stuttering a few words, but at that moment, Eren could only shake with the shirt pressed to his nose, containing the bleeding.

It was the shirt Reiner wore in the field, with the fresh smell of sweat and a faint fragrance of the perfume the veteran wore, now stained red.

"I tell to Galliard that it is not good to crowd many people after the games, but he doesn't listen to me, and so now an accident like that happens" Reiner continued to speak to keep the freshman awake.

Eren was so light to carry that it wasn't a problem to just take him in his arms and set out for the infirmary.

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have thrust myself into the crowd, damn it, I'm staining your shirt and giving work to a veteran"

"Don't worry about it, it's just a shirt"

Oh, that was Reiner, the kind high school angel.

"We arrived"

The high school doctor arrived shortly after Reiner laid Eren on one of the beds. The veteran told they the incident in detail with a concerned look.

"You're lucky, boy, you could have been stepped on but you just hit your nose" the way they tried to cheer him up was funny, arranging their glasses to look better.

While Hange studied him, Reiner sat in a chair farther away. Eren was sure it was time for him to be at his job.

"Thank you for bringing me here, Reiner, I'm not sure anyone else would do the same, but you can go to your dorm, I've already caused you a lot of problems"

Eren somehow managed to sound quite indifferent, but his heart was so agitated, his hands tightening the shirt against his chest.

"Hey, it's not a problem for me" Reiner said sincerely, after all he thought the whole mess was the team's fault. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Oh yes, this boy looks fragile but it seems that his bones are quite resistant, I will make some bandages and send him to rest"

Reiner seemed satisfied with the information so he decided to give in.

"Okay, so I'm going, get some rest, Eren"

Watching the veteran disappear through the door, he finally managed to get rid of his indifference, felt his face burn. He knew his name, probably from Zeke, but Reiner said his name so many times.

“So this is why you got into a horde? You know, I think it was simpler to have waited at the entrance to the dorms” Hange seemed quite interested in mocking the boy "Oh, youthful love"

Eren blushed violently hearing Hange's words.

"It's not that! I would just congratulate the victory"

"And then you would show a face so red just for the victory happiness" they laugh "it is already liberated, little boy, luckier the next time you go to declare yourself to our golden veteran"

Still ashamed, Eren practically ran out of the infirmary, holding the worn shirt, tightly. It was a pity that he had stained it with blood and that was why he couldn't smell all of Reiner's scent, but he was going to wash it carefully to return it.

He smiled to himself that disaster had become a positive thing.


	2. Affection

In the next day early in the morning Armin knocked on his dormitory door, the worried look on his friend's face made Eren feel guilty.

"Come in Armin, sorry I didn't text you, I was busy"

"Bertholdt told me what happened at the entrance to the field, I had to argue with Mikasa so she wouldn't invade the boys dorm behind you!" Armin seemed a little more relieved to see that apparently Eren was fine "What did you do there?"

"Hey, hey you, keep your voice down, I'm planning to more sleep". Jean, Eren's roommate, woke up throwing a pillow. Eren thought about arguing back until he heard a knock on his door a second time that morning. He opened up curious about who was this time and ran into who he least expected.

Reiner was right there in front of him, already dressed for classes, holding a backpack on his back, offering his best smile. "Hi, I came to see how it is, but I see you looks better, good"

"Hi, I didn't expect you to come, please enter, I'll get your shirt, I washed it yesterday" Eren gave the veteran space to go in search of the shirt already washed, ironed and impeccably folded.

“You can have it, I have a spare t-shirt, you have been watching all our games, you really seem to like our team" Reiner saw the blond boy looking at him curiously "Hey, hi Armin"

They already knew each other because Armin was the roommate of Reiner's best friend. Armin greeted him and went on silently connecting dots in his mind.

Eren's dorm was a little messy, probably because of Jean. Reiner thought it was funny that someone who looked so normal had a wall full of heavy metal band posters, a guitar leaning against the foot of the bed, a notepad with some crumpled papers, and even had a sketchbook that before Reiner managed to give a better look Eren appeared in his field of vision.

"Do you play guitar?" was all Reiner managed to ask, enjoying his own discoveries.

"I asked Annie to teach me a year ago, I insisted so much that she ended up giving in" laughed remembering how she almost got beaten up by Annie. "If you don't mind then I'll change my clothes and we can all go to class, except for that lazy one over there"

"Fuck you, Eren" 

It was not long before the freshman appeared perfectly dressed and with his notebooks in hand.

"So, I'm going ahead, I wanted to talk to Professor Erwin about some doubts" Armin's motive seemed quite convincing to they, however, they didn't know that Armin was just trying to leave the two alone.

The blondie was not a fool, anyone who had the slightest emotional notion would know what Eren was going through, and being his best friend, Armin wanted the best for him.

Alone, Reiner felt anxious for some reason, he couldn't explain, he was always very sociable. “Our classes are different, but I thought, do you want to do something after school? I usually work but today I'm off, we could watch a movie in my dorm, talk, something like that" Reiner asked with that strange feeling in his stomach.

"Hell, yes! It would be great, see you after school then”

After they said goodbye, Eren remained radiant for the rest of the day, finishing his things in record time. He couldn't eat properly looking forward to meeting Reiner later in the day. He told his commitment to his two best friends and Mikasa seemed not to care because Eren seemed quite happy and she liked to see him like that. Armin smiled internally with some ideas in mind.

Eren bathed, perfumed himself, put on his usual clothes, jeans, tighter t-shirt... but his aura gave the impression that he was incredibly flawless. He arrived at Reiner's dorm a while after buying some goodies. Reiner also seemed to have bathed because his hair was wet and a towel was still hanging around his neck. For a moment Eren found himself admiring the veteran's beauty.

"Come in, be welcome!"

"Where's Marcel?" Eren asked, intrigued to see the bed perfectly made and empty.

“He said he had to solve some fight that Porco got into” laughed "feel free, I'll just make popcorn"

Eren placed the goodies on a small table and began to look closely at the details about Reiner in that room. Reiner seemed to have a simple taste, gym equipment, family photos, photos of friends, but something caught his eye. The veteran seemed to have a peculiar taste for cute things, teddy bears, cute stickers.

Eren is happy, Reiner was so different from himself, but at the same time he looked so similar.

"All set, I have a box of films here we can choose one"

Taking the big box as if it were nothing, Reiner sat on the carpet in front of the sofa and Eren imitated his gesture. Curious to find out more and more about him.

There were a lot of romantic comedy movies, Reiner looked like a big fan of Adam Sandler, The Rock and Wayans brothers, but he also had a lot of animation films and some horror. That's how they chose to watch Blind Dating.

Eren hardly saw anything in the film, he already knew the script, his interest was in watching Reiner's reactions to the film, how he laughed or how he held himself back from crying but ended up crying anyway. When the movie ended, the new friends were eating sweets and talking. Eren also discovered that Reiner loves sweets.

"I swear, I thought Annie was going to kill me, when she saw that I accidentally read a page from her diary" the memory of her adopted sister with the worst look made him shiver, but he laughed too.

"I fully understand how you feel, Mikasa carries that padlock diary I'm sure if someone put their hands on it they would have their hands severed" the veteran was lying on one side of the sofa, while the freshman on the opposite side, they had their legs over each other. The little contact made Eren feel so good.

"I could easily bet that Mikasa has several pages with his name written and several hearts everywhere" Reiner could easily imagine the scene.

Eren blushed.

"I love Mikasa, she is amazing but just like my best friend, to imagine this is so weird" seeing a small gap to nudge Reiner, Eren continued with the amused tone of the conversation but his eyes had a frightening glow "But what about you, Reiner, don't you have a full diary with the name Historia?”

"Not God! I deeply admire Historia, I genuinely and purely love her, but that also sounds weird and Ymir would kill me" he continued laughing amused and frightened by the image of Ymir in his mind "I'm fine just being a supporter of them"

Yes, Eren knew that Reiner was very friendly with Ymir and Historia and that comforted him, it meant that the veteran accepted the image of a homosexual relationship well.

Still feeling those strange butterflies in his stomach, Reiner felt his face heat up. Eren noticed the pink cheeks in a short friendly silence. "Eren, I'm glad you're here with me, all team is my friend but it's so difficult to keep up with their rhythm" Reiner was thoughtful "But your company looks so pleasant, it's almost as if we are at the same pace"

Eren was never someone to waste moments, he simply did what he thought, and in that moment, Eren wanted to kiss him, but he not did, no, with Reiner he preferred to prioritize a moment of affection. He straightened up on the sofa, standing in the same direction as Reiner, beside him. They looked at each other for a long time until Eren started stroking Reiner ear.

Reiner felt so good about the touch that he closed his eyes and just allowed himself to feel the comfort that Eren conveyed.


	4. First kiss

Eren knew that Reiner was able to sleep a lot, and he was sure when he saw that Reiner didn't wake up for so many hours in a row, he was sure of that because he observed the jock's sleep for those hours, just texting to Armin and Mikasa that he had a cold and nobody should bother him. He knew that if it weren't a male dormitory, Mikasa would have knocked on her door five minutes after the message, but since she couldn't, her friend had been sending him recipe links for colds for an hour.

Armin on the other hand was concerned but his intuition told him not to really knock on Eren's door.

So at that moment, Eren prepared breakfast, making sure that the smell of coffee would awaken Reiner's senses and was right. Reiner woke up with the dark room, the closed curtains, he didn't even know what time it was, rubbed his eyes and yawned before seeing Eren with a tray.

"You must eat, Reiner, there are painkillers here too, I'm sure you must have a horrible headache"

There was a lot of information at the same time for the veteran to process. Eren was serving him breakfast in bed with painkillers that he probably picked up from the infirmary hidden away, but not that this information was important.

"Thanks, but I'm just giving you trouble, don't worry about me, I'm fine" Reiner couldn't deny how much he felt his cheeks get hot but his feeling of bothering him didn't leave his chest either. In these moments Reiner just behaved like the high school hero who everyone liked it, his self-protection created from the trauma, but he wasn't completely a character, Reiner's strong personality was just everything Reiner wanted to be.

"It's not a trouble, if the idea of being take care about bothers you, can think it's a return of favors, but I'm really honestly doing it for myself, because I like you and because I like being with you" Eren is always so sincere, Reiner admired that, Eren just said what was going through his head. The veteran didn't know if that was a confession or what but he felt his eyes sting. He didn't want to cry in front of Eren so he held those tears that almost came to his eyes. Reiner just didn't know how to deal with affection.

It was always like that, sometimes Reiner found himself just wanting to cry when his friends were take care him. Marcel being like a brother he never had, Annie in herself own way of caring, Bertholdt always so concerned and even Porco being a bastard who doesn't know how to express himself. Or your mother who preferred to live with her son with financial difficulties than to be married to a millionaire who could give her whatever she wanted but knowing that her son would be helpless in the world. And then had Eren, the boy who suddenly appeared in he life, and was being the best he could be.

He knew a lot about Eren's story, everyone knew about his mother's tragic death, that Carla was pushed in front a car by his father's ex wife. Eren was raised for a time together with Mikasa, her uncle who raised her, Levi, who happened to be the janitor in the school, offered to give the boy a temporary home until Zeke, Eren's older brother appeared, taking the boy's final custody. It was evident that such a complicated situation would not do anyone any good.

Reiner didn't understand why Eren would like him, he didn't think he had anything special, of course his image for the school was interesting in the eyes of other people, but Eren was there after seeing that this personality was all broken.

In order not to let himself cry, Reiner did not answer anything, just started eating what was offered and Eren smiled with satisfaction. "I told Armin that I have a cold and I ended up giving you the same cold for you, as today there is no class, nobody will bother you, probably Armin already told Bertholdt" Eren had planned everything so that Reiner would not be bothered with questions that could anxious him. Reiner just listened with relief that he didn't have to explain why he didn't came back.

"What time is it?"

"Seven in the morning, it's early" Eren got up from the end of the bed he was sitting on. Reiner ended up falling asleep in his bed, so Eren slept in Jean's bed. Seeing Reiner covered with his stuff was a sensational sight for Eren, he wanted to kiss him so badly, he even drew the sleeping veteran in his sketchbook. "If you want to take a shower and go back to sleep, or whatever you want to do" the freshman rummaged in his dresser for a change of clothes that he knew how to serve in Reiner. "I have a larger numbered outfit in my stuff that I bought just in case someone needs it, it should suit you" was honest but not completely, Eren had bought those clothes especially for a moment like this. Reiner had broad shoulders and so many natural muscles, the clothes of someone thin like Eren would never serve him so the boy started to leave larger numbers of clothes in his closet for who knows if Reiner would want to spend the day there or even his inconvenient brother.

"I'm going to accept the bath, I must be stinking sweat" Reiner laughed but the truth was that the freshman liked the jock natural smell, Eren wanted to hug him like that. In the shower, Reiner thought about everything that was happening and felt so anxious, Eren was so incredible that he was afraid to do something wrong and end up disappointing the boy. He felt his heart racing, this time for good reason, he wished Eren to kiss him, but he thought that would never happen, first of all he thought that Eren liked only girls.

He came out of the shower with that nervousness and anxiety, that sudden desire. The clothes that Eren offered him fit his body perfectly, a black T-shirt from a band that Reiner didn't know about and his dark sweatshirt shorts. He left the bathroom seeing Eren with headphones on the couch. Eren however stopped immediately what he was doing, delighted by the vision he had. His green eyes were so bright they overwhelmed Reiner.

The vision he had made Eren's whole mind and body react automatically. Reiner was wearing his clothes, it was everything he always imagined since he laid eyes on the veteran, he was beautiful. Reiner timidly sat down next to him, thinking of saying something until the freshman was the one who decided to speak. "I want to kiss you" was what he said seeing Reiner blush and the surprised look.

"Me too" Reiner decided to be honest about it, feeling Eren's hands hold his face and move closer until his lips are glued. Eren seemed to have an experience that Reiner didn't have, it was ironic that Reiner, even being so popular, had never kissed anyone before. When Reiner opened his lips a little, Eren deepened the kiss, feeling the texture of Reiner's tongue, it was wonderful.

They spent a long time kissing, Reiner also learning how it worked, so happy. When they moved away, Eren joined his foreheads, looking Reiner in the eye, delighted by that moment, and then Reiner cried.

"It was wonderful, Eren"


	5. Hyperventilation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner is vulnerable in front of Eren

Reiner woke up with a smile on his face, he had something different that day, a sense of well-being that he didn't know before. His roommate noticed the change, Marcel quietly ate an apple watching his friend's body expressions.

“Did something good happen that I don't know about? I mean, besides our victory”. Marcel had a very specific kind of friendship with Reiner, most like a brotherhood. Marcel felt responsible for taking care of Reiner, so he knew every little change of mood his friend showed.

"Nothing, I just made a new friend, a freshman named Eren Yeager"

“Yeager? Professor Zeke's brother?” suddenly the apple was not so interesting for Marcel anymore, his amused smile was focused on the conversation.

“Himself, he is so different from mr.Zeke, and I'm not just talking about looks, even if he doesn't stand out so much at Eren school, he's incredible, he's very obstinate too, he managed to make Annie, yes our Annie, teach him to play the guitar, when has anyone managed to make her budge?" Reiner spoke with such enthusiasm that Marcel appreciated how well his friend looked with his new friendship.

"Are you in love?" Marcel was one of the people who knew about Reiner's sexuality, one of the few who knew that his father had thrown him out of the house as soon as he heard about Reiner being gay. Reiner's mother, Karina, decided to part ways with her husband as soon as this happened and for that reason Reiner blamed himself a lot for the father's disappearance.

Blushing, Reiner just smiled to himself. He had no way of avoiding that he felt butterflies flying in his stomach every time he thought of Eren. 

"Maybe"

"That's great! I have to meet Eren, you know Reiner I will always support whatever makes you happy, call him for our team meetings"

"You know, I think this is a good idea, Eren is watching all of our games, maybe I should ask him to join a game between us" the blonde was very excited about the new idea, even if Eren didn't know how to play football, could teach him.

"Are you sure he has been watching our games because of football?"

"What you mean?"

Marcel got up from the bed table picking up his things to go to class, smirking at his friend. "Find out" and quickly walked out the door.

Reiner was in his own thoughts, remembering the caress that Eren had done the day before. He also remembered that he fell asleep like that and when he woke up he was covered and with a pillow under his head. He couldn't stop smiling, no one ever treated him that way, not even when he had a small platonic crush on Porco.

Didn't have classes for Reiner that day, he had an appointment with the psychologist and was nervous about it. When all that white environment arrived it seemed to eat him alive, always, Reiner wanted to run away. "Good morning, Reiner" said his psychologist before the veteran had time to escape the room, so Reiner sat down and in yet another consultation he said very little.

He felt bad about talking about his trauma, and whatever father abandonment, bullying and assaults had done to him, was like having a blockage in his throat. He knew well that he should put out what he felt, but he did not feel that this would be the moment, so in that consultation, Reiner just talked about the daily life of the team and his new friend, Eren.

Leaving the clinic, he was cold but he didn't care, he was willing to run for exercise and also to think about everything. Quite often Reiner had these moments of reflection, about everything that happened in his life up to that moment, and whenever that happened his heart would speed up, he would feel anxious and after all a huge emptiness would hit him, as if nothing else exist, as if he it shouldn't be there.

Thinking about all of this made Reiner perspire, and it wasn't because of the speed of the walk, Reiner was breathing hard, he felt feverish, his vision blurred, he was having a panic attack very close to the dorms. His first automatic action was to cover his ears and crouch. He didn't allow himself to hear anything, he only heard a buzz until someone put a hand on his shoulder. It was Eren.

"Reiner, breathe, slowly"

If that was an irony of fate, Reiner didn't know what to think but he grabbed the image of those eyes so green, so frighteningly green and accepted when Eren offered him a bottle of water.

That Eren waited for Reiner to return from his walk with that bottle, only Eren would know.

Reiner drank all the contents, choking a little and after a few minutes managed to get up. He had shown Eren an image he was not proud of and was now disgusted to think about it. Why didn't Eren seem disgusted? Why didn't he ignore him?

"It's okay, I'm not going to tell anyone" Eren said as soon as Reiner started to say something. "Jean went to his mother's house, if you want you can sleep in my dorm without anyone asking you questions"

The freshman's suggestion interested Reiner, who ended up accepting that offer with his head down. He was embarrassed and didn't want to have to tell Marcel about the incident.

"You know Reiner, I had moments like that when my mother passed away, but it was not something I could avoid, I just had to accept and find treatment" Eren said as soon as he closed the door to his dorm.

"And did you find a treatment?"

"Never, I sent all those fucking therapists to fuck, but, I don't think this is a good option for you" Eren practically pushed Reiner to sit on the couch and went after him, massaging the veteran's broad shoulders. "It might be good for you to open up to those shitty therapists" he tightened his muscles carefully, thanking Zeke for teaching him something useful because Reiner seemed to calm his tension little by little. "You are free to do what you want but it is just what I think"

With that the freshman left in search of a basket of chocolates that he provided that afternoon.

"I was trying to deliver this to you, for bringing a trophy to our school, I know it is a team effort but without you the team would lose in the quarterfinals, you are the only one that matters to me in this team, Reiner"


End file.
